resting my mind

i need to rest my mind. i need to do it so i can focus on what i want and the outcome of achieving what i want.

i need to take a break.

take me away W..

emo-ing

how i wish you would just give me a kiss and say i love you.

seeing you today just makes me realise how stupid i am to have fallen for you.

you make me happy and you make me emo.

you make me want to love you all the more.

i am not happy to see you today.

but i misses you badly.

foolishly wanting you.

against my better judgement.

you make my heart beat twice a pace.

you gave me hope and you take it away.

i am relishing in you.

i want to lose myself in you.

hold my hands and say you love me, will you?

giving u up?

suddenly it seems i woke up and felt frustrated and confused. should i just give u up instead of fighting with pointless air? i can't seem to figure out what is ahead of me and i can't seems to make my cheery self stay. maybe it's the nothing i got from u that makes me jumble all my confidence and can't seems to hang on for nothingness. wishing is not an option anymore because i have fallen. fallen like a piece of leave on the dry autumn air..

Earth Hour

we did our part. did u?

we went to the curve for some serious shoe shopping and i bought 2 pairs of shoe and honestly, there's still 2 more pairs i wanna buy. argh.. it's killing me. stop me from going to shoe shopping so much!! but i seriously doubt it, since it's moi month in april, i shall just go and get the other 2 pairs of shoe moi love a lot!

so during the earth hour yesterday, we were at this vietnamese restaurant for dinner. lights are out and we did our part. just hope everyone did theirs to save our earth!

the shoe i get. the green and grey flats is one i have been wanting for quite some time. the sexy heels just caught my eyes. so the lovely biatch makes me buy it. oh.. it's so not me and i love it!

this is another piece of top that i recklessly bought. i wanted something yellow and cheery but only left this purple's that is the nicest!

earth hour

i am going to lights out tomorrow in conjunction with earth hours. what about you?

**i am asking to spend the weekend with you. i am believing i would spend my weekend with you. i can feel how this weekend gonna be, spending it with you**

sick already

i am down with sore throat and blocked nose.

not having good sleep either.

missing certain someone a lot.

another random sick day!

personality test

a personality test i took just now and the result is,

Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

- yeah i am intelligent, honest and sweet.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

- looks are important. at least must be acceptable by me.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

- perhaps?

The seriousness of your love: Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

- is it? i wonder

Your views on education: Education is very important in life you want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

- yes. but i don't study hard, i fake it through. oh yeah i like learning. i am an avid learner in certain subjects :P

The right job for you: You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

- no idea

How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

- yes yes

What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

- true true

Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

- this part is true as well

birthday wish list

birthday is coming soon. another of my favourite day of the year. here's my birthday wish list, may what i want is what i get! *winks*

a bouquet of fresh roses. it would be oh-so-nice!
the secret by rhonda byrne. it is my guide book to whatever i want.

a sexy nighties. enough said *lol

a vibrant bikini, so i can really made plans to go on holiday soon.

a jasper crystal bracelet. this is according to feng shui book, young and sweet oxen who is aries wear this is good. especially red jasper.

canon digital camera. i would so love to have my hands on this baby. a dslr also i will accept *hee hee

this perfume. only this. because it is sweet and floral and nice and refreshing and because i like.

i wonder how my birthday this year is going to be..

i feel

tell me,

how can i feel you?

how can i know you?

how can i have you?

you gave me hope,

i make air castle out of it.

you bring me down to earth,

i am hopelessly melancholy.

i lay my heart on you sleeves,

hoping one day you will notice.

i became your string puppet,

my heart is being tug by you.

i want you!

i believe you will be mine!

i feel us together,

happily ever after..

bribery sucks!

seriously cops that is being bribes sucks hell lots! people who bribe them just to get outta trouble, SUCKS even more!! they are the disgrace to the country!! no wonder we are always in the hind and never moving forward. they are the rottens apples of the country. congrats suckers. too bad for those who wanted improvement. my advise, get the hell out before they sucks you dry for idiotic reason!!

it wasn't my day. but it ain't gonna bother me from this point onwards. to hell with those SUCKERS!! my time is not gonna spend dwelling on it! i have much more better things to do.

sleepy

slept at 12am and woke up at 4.30am just to go cheras to meet up with my uncles and aunties and cousins to go spring clean my grandparent's grave. it was fun but extremely tiring. i had a bad sleep after coming back home. had nightmares. i wonder.. oh well don't go there.

now sitting in the office getting ready to go seremban for the graduation and i gotta drive. sleepiness shouldn't be a problem with speeding right? *wink*

going to find something to eat now. hungry since this morning. i have yet to do my birthday wish list but well, have a great weekend ahead peeps.

freaking funny

carlson sent it to me. thought i would share it with everyone. original article is from http://10steps.sg/articles/7-artistic-paper-works

the law of attraction

Money

Money is magnetic energy. You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.

To become a powerful money magnet:

• Be clear about the amount of money you want to receive. State it and intend it! Don’t think about how much you can earn, but how much you want to receive.
  
• Fall in love with money. Most people do not love money, because they always feel that they don't have enough of it.
  
• Visualize and imagine yourself spending all the money you want, as though you have it already.
  Speak, act, and think from the mindset of being wealthy now. Eliminate thoughts and words of lack such as "I can't afford it", "It is too expensive".
  
• Do not speak or think of the lack of money for a single second.
  
• Be grateful for the money you have. Appreciate it as you touch it.
  
• Make lists of all the things you will buy with an abundance of money.
  
• Do whatever it takes for you to feel wealthy.
  
• Affirm to yourself every day that you have an abundance of money, and that it comes to you effortlessly.
  
• Appreciate all the riches around you, including the riches of others. Look for wealth wherever you go, and appreciate it.
  
• Be certain that money is coming to you.
  
• Love yourself and know that you are deserving and worthy of an abundance of money.
  
• Remind yourself everyday that you are a money magnet, and ask yourself often during the day, am I attracting money now or pushing it away with my thoughts?
  
• Always, always pay yourself first from your wage, then pay your creditors. In that single act, you are telling the Universe that you are worthy and deserving of more.
  
• Repeat over and over every day, "I am a money magnet and money comes to me effortlessly and easily."
  
• Write out a check to yourself for the sum of money you would like to have and carry it in your wallet. Look at it often.
  
• Do whatever it takes to feel good. The emotions of joy and happiness are powerful money magnets. Be happy now!
  
• Love yourself!Wealth is a mindset. Money is literally attracted to you or repelled from you. It's all about how you think.

Relationships

You can completely transform any relationship, no matter what it's like right now.
Every single relationship you have is a reflection of how you feel inside about you. You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings. Every relationship you have and every interaction with every person, is a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings in that very moment.

To transform every single relationship you have in your life:

• Fall in love with YOU!
  
• Make lists of hundreds and hundreds of wonderful things about you. Keep adding to it every day.
  
• Know that you are perfect. Do not think any negative thoughts about you.
  
• Know that you are worthy and deserving of anything and everything you could possibly want in your life.
  
• Focus on the wonderful things in every person. Look for only those things.
  
• Do not blame or criticize anybody, ever.
  
• Set an intention that you are going to see the best in everything and everyone.
  
• Make your happiness the number one thing in your life. Happiness is an inside job.
  
• Free yourself of the responsibility of trying to make other people happy. Respect and love them enough to allow them to take care of their own happiness.
  
• Get your attention off those things in others that don't make you feel good.
  
• Appreciate and love yourself in every moment you can.
  
• Do not expect others to behave in a way you want, so you will be happy. Release yourself forevermore and know that you alone control your happiness and it is a choice, no matter what anyone else is doing.
  
• Love and respect yourself completely.
  
• Know that you are perfect right now.

Extracted from http://www.thesecret.tv/top-secret-summary-of-teachings.html

this is what i gonna do from now on :P

silly ouchie

i cut my lip just now when i was going to eat chewing gum. stupid me! it's so painful!!

i want a kiss to make it better.. :(

cousin's house warming

last sunday was a family day. we had an old-fashion house warming party at my cousin's place. seriously, the house is really huge!!


went to somewhere in ampang for lunch.

then because mom and dad ditch us with our cousin, we hitch hiked out. cos we are just too bored and it's hell noisy. we went for tea time mc-d. they look bored right? cos i took a lot of no good shots and they are giving me the lame look!

the favourite place in the whole house. outdoor jacuzzi spa tub. sexy!

the av room. the leather sofa bed is oh-so-lovely.

another favourite place. the staircase.

testing out the camera's self-timer. can you imagine how bored we are that day?

my favourite uncle, just came back from the states.

my cousin. who's lots younger than me. literally can't see me when i stand behind him.

he's throwing tantrum at me for ignoring him. i did nothing of this, i was mingling with my family.

my aunty. another favourite!

camwhoring with my cousins in the av room.

all in all it was a great day and how i misses the gatherings..

today is..

today is a very memorable day!

17 march 2009

as per requested by someone for me to make a remark that today shall be a very memorable day. why? because certain someone called me. i can't really remember what we talk about except certain stuff. he's being very mean to make fun of me! he shall get it from me no matter what and i have yet to decide what i wanna do to him. *evil grins*

*lol*

i am feeling..

does this song sums up what i wish i dare to say?

the truth? only me knows..

idiot!!

i did something that i can say it's year 2009 most idiotic act last night!

totally regret it!!! i am so so so sorry for myself. self-pity doesn't help anymore.

gosh.. why the heck am i so damn stupidly idiotic?? *hell*

somewhat sad

i am engulfing myself in misery. feeling sadness and loneliness and hurt.

i miss you.

where are you?

wanting what i can't have is a real pain in the ass. F**K! i so want to go and have a drink now!!

friday the 13th

yeah today's the black cat day.. erm i think so.. it's friday the 13th. not a good day for everyone!

i just got a minor scratch on my hand and usually it won't bleed but today it does. hmm i wonder why..

anyway hope everyone have a good friday!

searching for the perfect song

wallowing myself in melodrama, i am searching for the perfect song to describe what i am feeling now. came close to a few but none seems, quite right enough. i wonder why. perhaps it is just as complicated as it is.



this is a song which i think is somewhat a lil like what i am feeling now.



this one a bit too..

well i shall continue my search tomorrow. wanna go eat something. i am hungry! hungry for u.. yeah as if he knows it's him *eyes rolling* someone's gonna kill me for making this statement out loud. chill babe, i know you love me.. i love you too biatch!! muacks..

*proud proud*

mom says nathanael is going for inter-school spelling bee competition end of this month. we were all super duper very very proud of him!

break a leg baby brother.. you are everyone's sunshine and no matter what you get, we will always be in your heart to cheer you up and to love you!

aww.. how i wish i can be there to cheer for him! nope.. it really is not a good idea. remember the scene in tesco last holiday? it's really not a good idea cos i will be cheering my heads off! *hee hee

c&c gossip outing session 2 year 2009

it's an emergency meeting! pre-booked on sunday to be held on monday afternoon.

we went to wong kok char chan teng for some tea and well seriously the service and food there sucks real lots. it's only because the ambiance that we went there. look at those leftover untouched food by me. yeah.. wasting food but then hell, it's really sucks!

i bought new earrings. i love the dangling rainbow's. it's the nicest pair i got. i got it while waiting for C to come and meet me at pavilion after work.

she's my real bestie. i can really share a lot of stuff with her and being the non-judgemental her, she advised a lot and help me to overcome some certain issue that's happening in my life. yeah.. my relationship part. anyway that emergency meeting is all about something similar but something that shouldn't and couldn't happy in the first place. so we spend hours to discuss and solve everything. not really everything but, at least i know i should do something right about it.

this is actually to camwhore a bit while she's atm-ing.

later after sent her back to setapak, S and me went to subang for dinner and meet B and his friends. listening to them crap makes me happy. but all the while i am only thinking of one person who's not there and who shouldn't be thought of by me. *sigh, it makes me feel sad at the same time.

anyway, for better or worst, i need to be strong in my mind to overcome this. i must focus on my outcome and self-reminder, choices have consequences. what i choose, i must face the consequences!

Big O Bash

last saturday went to attend the big O bash.

went with S and A, my long time funny ex-colleague. because of S, who is late as usual. late until, honestly i am sick and tired of it, everyone in mr.B's team is there already. nevertheless i had fun that day although down with mild fever.

so once reach there, awkward hi's are exchanged and once i saw my favourite team, bryan's team, all laughter and joy is in the house. we camwhored a lot and i saw a lot of ex-colleagues whom i have work for, work with and had crazy time together.

i miss good ol' days working them all. jin, joseph, lawrence, gladys, danny, citrine, nicole, stanley, and bryan are all there. everyone is basically still the same. miss working and miss having fun with them a lot. i still remember those crazy days where we will go karaoke or party after work and still can go to work the next day. we would fax each other invitation to parties every other week. it was awesome fun!

too bad edmond, david and elson can't join us though. if they were here.. i can't imagine the craziness!! but still i am glad everyone had fun.

all i want is love

all i want is just hugs from u,
all i want is for u to hold my hands once again,
all i want is for us to be only us,
all i want is a new beginning,
with u and me.

all i want is to be selfish,
all i want is u,
all i want is your kisses,
all i want is to be able to hope,
all i want to hope,
is u and me together.

all i am going to do now is to forget,
we ever laughed,
we ever smiled,
we ever sang our heart out,
we ever touched.

all i am going to do now is to forget,
we ever look in each others eyes,
we ever sit side by side,
we ever talked on the phone,
we ever listen to each other sweetly.

all i want is love,
from u to me.

time to forget,
time to begin,
time to lose,
time to let the others win,
time to get over u,
but i just can't help it.

all i want is love,
of u to me.

another broken pieces of me for u

as promised

S birthday celebration at sunway and 1u.

he is, well famous for his signature late-ness. J waited an hour plus for him. well same as E and me. we waited for a long long while nonetheless.

eating time. everyone is stuffing real lots of food. i don't think i ate a lot but i ate very slow though. it's a bliss being served *winks

gosh.. what is he drinking? yeah the BJ concoction. trust me, you ain't wanna test it out. it is simply gross but edible *hmm.. kinda remind me of certain someone.

this is the B and J and they concocted the 'soup'. i call them the BJ team. funny friends. they are helluva funny! they can surely cheer my day up and every time we went out i can laugh a hell lot.

this is another gross but edible egg and fish noodle and date. with some soup if i remember correctly. another creation by BJ team.

this is by J. some supposedly delicious local cakes but..

yeah it became this after being modified by B. another gross.

birthday cake time! being the clever me, of course i bought those cakes that i can't really eat. caffeine laced cake. yummy i guess. they made a huge scene in the steamboat place and well all of this is to attribute to S, for his 24th birthday!

then we head down to 1u for karaoke. but since we are early, i bug J to play pool for me *lalala~ after that only we went to sing his voice out.

this is E, trying to promote the cigarette and beer.

this is S and me. somewhat this picture makes him look a lil strange.

E and me.

J and me. i swear i took a lot of no good shot with him and this is the only one that somewhat can be posted out!

i didn't get to take a picture with B, he's darn busy.. busy with his phone.

this is mine. from S by J. complicated? it's alright. who cares anyway. as long as i get flowers, i don't mind. though it's a fake one!

happy birthday S

yesterday was S's birthday. to celebrate, the 5 of us, S, B, J, E and me went for steamboat at sunway and then to 1u for pool and karaoke.

it was a night full of laughter and joy and of course we tricked S as usual.

i was nervous and having fun and feeling excited. the best damn part of whole last night, is the hand that held me. ok.. i am rambling.

shall update with pics next week. gotta work for previews and in a hurry to go for the stupid-and-i-am-regretting-to-go gathering later tonight.

have a great weekend.

gulped

i am so damn nervous right now.

nervous because of you.

**i heart you**

lame talk

i lame-d talk with him last night over the phone.

excited and happy. the feeling's bliss, moi..

now is testing sparks time.

may it sparkles with light flame.

playing with fire, ain't a good idea but temptation is hard to resist.

it might meant nothing to him but it does mean something to me.

helluva hot!

monday..

i freaking woke up at 6.30 but slept on til 7 something only woke up and rushed showering and changing and off to work. reach office 8 something so that someone won't be late for his first day of work.

so from 8 something till now (minus the short walk out to buy lunch though) i have been in the office and doing nothing productive. what a typical monday.

i watched twilight the movie on youtube and gotten bored in the middle because some parts doesn't come with the audio's *wtf -_________- then surf the net some and continue to watch. i finished the book and well i am just curious what's the movie like. not too bad but i prefer book where imagination can run really wild.

then went out to buy lunch and came back to the office stonning for a long long while and lastly started on keying all the data from last weekend's preview. after finishing everything already, not knowing what to do so i'll just wait to go home. can't wait for dinner cos seriously i have been eating a lot but still feel hungry *shit!! it's a gone case..

facebook is bored and forum sucks as usual. msn with KC and sis and N. nothing much unusual except boo boo eat worm yesterday. OMFG!!!! this is so gross and so like my baby boo boo. how i miss her real lots!

my new play

i am so god damn addicted to this song. this is the post edward cullen effect.



this song is supposedly to be edward's lullaby to bella in twilight but somehow it is not in the end. but i am not too sure about this fact. should anyone have the answer, please do let me know.

this beautiful piece of music is by yiruma a south korean piano music composer. some of his other piece of music is also very good but then i am deeply affected by this, rivers flow in you. words are hard to describe the feeling when listening to this.

somehow i can totally relate it to the movie itself. the happiness and the anticipation, the sadness and the grieve, the lost and the founds. it's all about the whole twilight saga. it is a soothing music that evoke a lot of feeling when one listen to it. it brings out a lot of emotions.

i just can't resist replaying the music again and again and again. it's is just like my brand of heroin..

high and low

we search high and low for it but can't get it..

from pj to kl to pj.. we spent hours to search for it and this is the 1st time i have visited countless 7-e for it yet i can't find it.

anyone who knows where to get the dunhill light metal box limited edition, please let me know please..

thanks in advance~