Never say goodbye when you still want to try

never give up when you still feel you can take it.

Never say you don't love the person anymore when you can't let go.

copied from anonymous facebooker

battered

emotionally battered,

abused and unwanted,

regrets holds the champion,

there's no turning back,

sorry i did that..

is it?

♫ A: hot
♫ B: loves people and sex
♫ C: good kisser
♫ D: can kick ur butt
♫ E: has gorgeous eyes
♫ F: loves people wild and crazy
♫ G: very outgoing
♫ H: stick to one
♫ I: is really sweet
♫ J: is very sexual
♫ K: crazy
♫ L: very good kisser
♫ M: Makes dating fun
♫ N: loves to laugh and smile
♫ O: has one of the best personalities ever
♫ P: popular with all types of people
♫ Q: a hypocrite
♫ R: funny
♫ S: makes people laugh
♫ T: smile to die for
♫ U: is loved by everyone
♫ W: very broad minded
♫ X: never let people tell you what to do
♫ Y: is loved by everyone
♫ Z: can be funny and dumb at times

me..

♫ C: good kisser
♫ A: hot
♫ R: funny
♫ O: has one of the best personalities ever
♫ L: very good kisser

♫ H: stick to one
♫ E: has gorgeous eyes
♫ N: loves to laugh and smile
♫ G: very outgoing

what's your?

royally fcuked up!

i am royally and thoroughly fcuked up!

never thought it could gone anymore worse than worst! fcuk!

wtf happened??

karma is all but breathing down my neck and payback is really a bitch! i am having my piece of payback and it sucks real bad!! fcuk again!

fcuk!! fcuk!! fcuk!! fuck!! fcuk!!

what's to do with it?

*hehe.. it is such a blast! i have once again officially pissed someone off with what i have written in my blog. first i have E who pm-ed me and gave a stern lecture on what i have written and *yawnz.. she is so darn bored reading the same contents over and over again. then it's J who confessedly say she is bored with my post too. pissed and bored! *LOLZ!!!!

ohh.. babes, i blog what i blog! love me as i am k, smoochies peeps!

hmm.. i accidentally ffked Immi because i left a comment saying will go swimming today but forgot to bring my gear over so, sorry there again babe! it's a promise for tomoro. as for Carlson, we shall all be at the gym tomoro ya! can't wait..

weekend getaway

saturday had a not so good sleep, nevertheless was out and about in less than 30mins just so i can reach y.c.k to meet J on time. then we went to her newly rented pad to get house keys from the owners and it is a fabulous place with the walk in closet that i love. next we head out to yishun for some delicious nasi beryani. people literally queuing for it. it is a long long queue. thank goodness we got there early enough without having to wait for a long time.

after that we head down to bugis to meet mom and sis and kelly and nate. they are enjoying the mos burger! *shucks.. can you imagine me going down to sgp without eating mos?? unbelievable!! so we went for some lil shopping along the infamous bugis street, too bad i didn't bought any stuff at all. can't seems to find something i like *argh.. what is wrong with me??

next we decided to just go another place, and we hop on the train thinking orchard but ended up getting off at raffles place and we walk around and park ourselves at the McD cafe for hours crapping about some sad stories. J had quite a lot of stuff to tell and truthfully none of it surprised me anymore than she kissed someone on her birthday nite. nope, it's none of my business who she's making out with but i will always hope she'll be happy with whatever that's in her life. *lolz.. can you imagine a sensitive towards caffeine me can actually ordered wrongly for my drinks? i ordered caramel frappe! it is actually coffee and caramel blended with ice and i drank the whole thing up! next i know, the usual caffeine effect came over to me *sigh.. pathetic and predictable.

caramel and latte frappe

head home after that for dinner with family and then a quick shower and rushed make up, we are out again. this time we went to clarke quay with sis and amy. then J's bro Anson and Olivia joined us at highlander. we are sitting along the sidewalks and they are having some party function right in the middle of the place. since it coincides with the f1 weekend, so i suppose a lot of activities has been done for tourist. there i tried singapore sling which at first taste sweetly fruity but after a while it taste more like cough syrups though it looks red! the mood there is just wildly party-goers hanging around choosing which club to crash. i didn't quite have any mood to club that nite but the music is loud enough to gets me in the mood.

highlander

J with irish bailey

T and A

J and me

later after saying good bye to J, the 3 of us went for a short walk and decided to get some solid food to eat. it's tcc then.. the coffee connoisseur. we ordered prawn aglio-olio, beef tofu something and also spice chicken. i had a not so oreo's oreo milkshake and they both had peach me up whatsoever and some fruity concoction which i forget the names

tcc

mini weekend getaway.

tis a happy day. spent half day at work, doing nothing yet something then stupid management clamped my car because she thought i am a season parker which am not. then went downtown to pick Stephen up and we go sing k! *lolz.. its been a long long time since i last do that. it's actually a planned half day sing k and dinner since the week before and i am so anticipating it.

so we reach redbox, low yat about 3.45pm and we sing almost about 4hrs. for me it's basically shouting session challenging those high mariah carey's note as for S, its a performance thingy. he stands when he sings all his songs, seriously! we had quite some fun then although we don't seems to enjoy it much but then its a good way to spend for troubled soul.

then we went to starhill to meet up with C and since he is still at work, we head down to jln imbi for some dinner of the famous yong tow foo and fried kuey tiow and loads of barbecue chicken wings. only later when we finish eat that C appeared and we crap a little. he, of all people, mistook S as my current beau. omfg!! that is so so not gonna happen and *eew.. it is just way too much for me to take it. sorry S, it is not as if you are bad or what but it is just that we are just pals. pals that we can talk to, like for instance his kt and kl's stories. *eh hem.. too privvy to share!

so after sending S back, then i also head home to pack my bag for a 3days and 2 nites work cum getaway..

getaway is friday morning woke up at 6++ and had a cold early shower and head down to 1u to catch a coach to SGP.

til then.. will update about my mini getaway when i am back in kl..

**edits**

waiting in turn to shout! *hehe..

S who stands and sing all his songs!

yummylicious yong tow foo.. looks oily though.. (:

** disclaimer **

some names are being initialized due to privacy and sometimes due to my utter less laziness of repeatedly typing the same name over and over again!

hurt

i dunno why does it still bothers me and i dunno why am i still thinking about it because obviously it is so damn over already! it hurts no matter how i say i am not affected anymore and i am not as strong as i pretended to be. it still hurts..

walk.jog.gossip.nightmare

this is the park where i supposedly say i gotta jog. but it seems more like..

walk.walk.jog.walk walk walk walk walk.jog.walk walk walk.jog.walk walk walk walk walk and walk.jog.walk walk.jog.walk walk walk walk and lastly walk.

now get what i mean? i like to jog to release all the restless energy but i ain't a runner or jogger by all means. i swim better.

a very cheerie Immi and her friend Henry pushing her to have her baby moves on all the exercise regime. H is such a good and fierce trainer.. *haha.. good for you girl! can't wait to join you guys for swimming next week. sorry to ffk you guys, its all because of my car. need to pick up from workshop later.. *sob sob*

next, after a hasty shower at company's condo, rushed all the way to wangsa maju to meet CLC. it is fun, winning on the road. hopefully i didn't get any summons speeding along mrr2! *haha.. i had a craving for bo-bo cha-cha but can't seems to find it anywhere in genting klang so we just pop over to steven's corner for our gossipy gathering.

i ordered my fave cheese and garlic naan. been waiting to eat this for months since our last gossipy session. someone promised to accompany me to go and eat this together some time ago but then i guess he don't remember this already and now its no longer an important issue to him anymore.

gossipy session means we bitch about our problem like work and friends, point-of-views and each other's fault! of cos, other people's. *evil grinz* CLC is always the bestest pal i have ever had. we are so good that we can literally point out faults on each other and then we can just laugh about it. we have no secrets hatred on each other and we always have a common ground. we grow up together and we improve each other. we learn how to be a better person together and of cos we gossip just about any and everything!

and then this morning when i wanna go to work..

ARGH!!!! WTF!!!!! freaking in a very fan time already still got this kinda shit happens!! oh my.. i am so gonna hate the fcuking idiot a lot. although i didn't lose anything at all, not a single cent but then WTH!!!! i don't have any extras already this month!!!! i am so freaking wanna kill someone already. ANGRY!!!!!!

now that my xiao bai's in repair, KC actually found out a lot of problem with it. the whole bill that's gonna come to me is estimated rm2++, that is exclusive of the brake service and engine's oil leak and the damn dunno-what alignment bar. i knew i have to service the brake and the alignment like months ago but some so-called expert say don't need, i am imagining all those sounds and problem. shit!!! i shoulda trust my own judgement than those so-called expert in cars!

just when i thought i had picked up the bits and pieces when you left,
just when i thought i don't have to have you in my life anymore,

just when i thought you are not going to be someone whom i can trust and rely upon,
just when i thought i have let go of all,
shits happens and all i can think of is you.

but i do not have the courage to face yet again another disappointment.

i crave for some understandings and some intimacy
some comfort when i am at lost but all i have is nothing.

leaving me alone might be the best

because i do not know how to cope anymore.
i do not wish to be alone yet i am left to fend for myself,

all i want is you..

i am who i am..

alrite. J's officially pissed off by me because i have been repeatedly listening to the same song again and again for the past week *grinz* did i mention that i listen to the same damn song when i am driving? *lolz.. last week's obsessed with jordin's tattoo and then this week is janice's 拍错拖 turn [don't ask me about the name of the song though, i don't know as well!]

yesterday's a not that good day but still it's ok. having some minor problem at work but all settled today. dropped by dearie A's place for dinner and *haha.. ride on her brand new BMW 5 series the first time! it is a superbly cool car with all the fully automated digital gadgets. can't wait to cruise in it again :D then helped her pack her desktop so she can fly to kuching with it and after all the dusty packing, we went down stair to the pool side with a bottle of sparkling grape juice. no wine cos she don't really drink but who knows, the next time we might just try it out! had some quiet un-wind time out.

poor F though, while we are lounging beside the pool he called to say his car's window gets broken again. *geez.. he is out for supper with our other housemies and then this accident happen. lost his working bag, some sales receipt and report etc. friendly reminder, don't ever leave bag in the car even its only for a while! you never know what might happen.

oops.. gotta go jogging.. so unlike me!! but anyway catch up tomorrow after tonite's gossipy session with CLC!!

friends

'win some lose some,
people come and go,

but friends like me and you will always be tight'

i received this comforting message few days ago when i am feeling really down. it is very meaningful and makes me think about a lot of stuff. although it is only simple words, but when you thread it to be a sentence it will become something else.

knowing that we all will win some and lose some at one point of our life, still we can't help but think about the whys when we lose and we felt proud when we win. some maybe shying away from the spotlights but some are fighting to be shine upon. to be able to stay resilience and keep going through the hard aspect of life takes a lot to deal with.

i learnt that people come and go when i was somewhere around in sec2. it was my sis who told me this and ever since that night, i always known that people come and go. its a matter of how we appreciate them and how we live the moment to the fullest that we would not regret when the go time comes around. life's not being unfair to anyone just being realistic to all. like karma, what goes around come around. learn to take the opportunity rather than wait for it because time and tide waits for no one.

C and me will always be very special friends. we are thoroughly comfortable in our own skin when we are together. we aren't there for each other most of the times but deep down we always know we are true friends to each other. we don't talk much and we both have our own life, but still the special sense of friendship will always be tight. thank you for being such a pal. *muacks muacks..

clubbing nite

had an unplanned clubbing nite.

mr. L call and say he's going to coco banana. then he asked, "girl, do you wanna go?" i said, "if you want then come and pick me up!" so this is how i ended a supposedly quiet nite at dearie A's to a loud and packed club at coco banana. it is my 1st visit there and thanks to mr. L! *grinz..

so when we arrive there, the place is so packed with people. maybe because its been a long time since i last club so i don't really feel that into it. then i had something i haven't drink in years, chivas + coke (might have been pepsi since it taste very sweet!) i always drink my whisky, if really have to, with green tea or ribena. i hate to drink it with coke/pepsi because it always taste as if i am drinking some meds. *yucky*

the music is quite good before 1am. all those pop and rock songs that's easy for us to vogue with but then after 1am, the songs gets tranced. it is more discotheque so for those trance lover, you might wanna go and try it out. the environment is not bad with all those uber digital neon light and the design of the whole place is very contemporary yet with a touch of innocent white.

we left the club about 1am + cos the feeling to club ain't there and the worse things is, no leng zai to see. *sigh..

so after that it is chocolate supper, gossip with A about sexual harassment of the same sex happening in her workplace, text C at the same time since we can't really talk. he is with his new girl that seems more like scandal according to him, cut all toe nails, exfoliate my face, shower, tuck myself in and sleep at 5am. woke up at 7.18 and i am late! very very late for work! shouldn't have slept. so next time when i am going to have an early morning, i would not sleep again.

no pictures this time, didn't take any at the club..

**edits**

but do have some silly after shots..

blah nite and bad day

**edits**

pictures as promised..

korean dinner at mont kiara

rossinni

yesterday..

it is a nite spent talking and crapping with dearie A who just came back from kuching. dearie wanted to have korean's for dinner so we head down to mont kiara for it. me is the driver of the nite, alas i got my car back from borrowing it to other people for that many days and well today i am car less again.

we had some korean beef barbecue and fried rice cake and those lil dishes that usually comes with it. *upload pics another day because i don't have my usb cable on hand* our table is full of food and as expected we can't even finish half of it. no matter how much i eat also the food seems endless! the beef is very tender and i love it a lot. then the rice cake is ok but i still like the one i ate couple of months back. still it is a nice and fulfilling treat!

next we decided to go and have a drink before home because we aren't done talking about stuff that happens to us these past few days. dearie had lots of problem to tackle, her family and business matter. as for me its all sorts of stupid and silly things! then we catch up with L and he say he is at the curve having coffee with his friends. so he suggested we meet him up for 2nd round. who knows.. when we reach there he called and say his friends wanna go to mont kiara for their 2nd round! wtf..

dearie A and me end up drinking at the apartment in the curve all by ourselves. i ordered a cocktail called rossinni. it is an extremely potent drink, can't remember what's all the ingredients but i know its a mixture of strawberry liqueur and champagne. the taste, sourish and bubbly! *cool* i wanted a mojito but they only have a strawberry mojito *eew* i don't feel like drinking some new taste mojito though..

we had an early nite later as we are kinda tired from the day's stress. while i am relaxingly taking my long nite shower, L called and called to ask where am i. *aiks!* already at home only say he is back at the curve wanting to go for 3rd round with us! shoulda called earlier then i will surely join u!! end up L disappointingly go home and sleep. *sigh.. too bad cos he also needs to de-stress from his relationship problem! i wonder is now's the [m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e in r.e.l.a.t.i.o.n.s.h.i.p season] everyone's having problem in relationship department. *SIGHZ*

today..

woke up early then go buy breakfast and rush to work then having problem with the freaking p.a system that cracks up all the time. so freaking frustrated with it! ST's gonna have my hide when he ends today *shit shit shit shit and another shit!!* i hate it. every time work with him sure got these kinda stupid problem occurs! i hate it. really. hate. it.

hungry.. whole day only eat 1 hash brown and a yucky milo + cereal fuze thingy. i don't even dare to leave the room unnecessarily because if the p.a acts up again, i really is gonna be killed! sure wish to have someone here to buy me some hot food and gimme some loving that i desperately needed!

may it be better minute by minute for today..

determination

went swimming alone yesterday. its a spur on the moment decision. never have i been so determined to do something for quite some time already. but well it's a good thing to do at that time, to release all those nasty restless energy that's been pestering me for weeks. i swam for an hour plus with minimal breaks and lost count of the rounds after the 7th sets. i might have hit more than 20 i suppose after pushing myself for the last 6sets within what 15mins? *sigh.. anticipating muscle strain tomorrow.

later then had little sleep, crapping the nite away with A while she's multi tasking as usual. it's only at 3am that we hung up and i went to bed doing a lot of thinking with my next door neighbour still partying into the twilight's of the sunrise. somehow i wonder why i can't sleep whenever i am troubled. bored with same ol' patterns. where has all my creativity gone??

today's all about work and preparation and thinking what's for brunch tomorrow. i am determined to finish up everything before 6pm. hopefully i didn't left out anything as i have a lot on my mind nowadays and since it's going to be me, myself and i for the next 2 days after registration so just hope everything gonna be ok! cross your fingers!! i can already anticipate the enriching session as it's ST's seminar, he always makes jokes that i can laugh til i drop!

later going to drop by dearie A's place for dinner as usual. can't wait for it though. we both needed to do some time out together. i suggested icy cool ribena with sprite with pool side view and let's just drown ourselves with those water sound that's relaxing and unwinding. i wonder what she wants after a long week that she had.

no one's perfect, either you deal with it or you forget it! don't expect anyone to know everything!

i will be better

yesterday was a desperate for kit kat night and therefore went in search of kit kats. whatever i wanted nowadays i can't seems to get it. so i am so determined that it sounds just creepy and crazy. maybe too much of a disappointment makes me at least want to achieve some small little things in life. finally, 2 bars of kit kats and me become dinner companion.

last nite was not a good nite as well but it is much better.

just a short post today and i will be better.. rushing to go swimming.. till then..

**edits**

YH vid call me in the evening from UK. it is cheerful having silly banters with him while waiting for my downloads. he threatened me of not coming back if i don't grow my hair back. *ah.. it is so not going to work! but then by the time he come back to MYS, my hair should be long again, i guess! can't wait for you to come back and we can have movies marathon as promised before you left!

all in all i miss seeing him. can't wait to talk to you again soon,, take care there..

miserable me

it is an unexpected miserable cum pathetic nite! self-destruction cum auto-pilot mode that bothers the hell out of me and i just wanna lose myself into total oblivion of nothingness. no ranting nor raving, no besties bitching session, no crapping nor nothing. it's a very lonesome nite for me to reflect and forget but it keeps haunting me relentlessly. i hate it! superbly hate it!

spent the day repeating the same play list again and again. did stuff that i have not done in a very long time. but woke up not feeling the usual i-am-happy-again-and-its-a-brilliant-day-ahead! after mood but gets more cranked up and restless plus too much thoughts that i have no answers. fcuked up!

anyway, am really glad that i have friends who will be there for me when i needed them. YF texted me knowing i am in a bad mood, but he is in a no better state than me. texted C, cos only he can relate to how i feel without me telling and he is a realist of my life, pulling me back when i over-dreamed but this time around he pulled me in too late, i am burnt! E consoled me without knowing why i am so mad and upset, that's a very very good pal that i love a lot. babe A's been real busy so kinda not getting any responds from her but all the same we talked for a while and though it doesn't do me any good but still she knows that i hate to be alone so love you too, babe. W on the other hand replied my meet up when i am in no capable of driving over to her place, so we ffk'ed each other.

the we have dearie A, called at a very surprising hour. although i am in a very foul mood i am surprised by myself yet again that i can be a good listener. she sobs her story to me and nothing i can do now but hope things will work out. stay strong A, think on the positive side and we'll have a heart to heart talk this friday when you fly back home. don't do anything foolish because no man's worth our tears! no one can hurt you unless you let them to! remember this!!

basically it is a nite of misery for the few unfortunate us.



hate that i love you..

the very basic

frankly speaking i got no idea why the term "back to basic" means this but here i am saying it..

as for that particular you, someone i didn't know that meant this much to me until yesterday..

whatever decision you have made, i will respect you and all i want is for you to be happy. do whatever that makes you be yourself and don't blame yourself for whatever that has happened because nothing's gonna change, you have already make the decision. don't look back but move forward, learn from experience and do things the way you won't regret.

i am glad to have known you even though its only a brief moment in my life yet you bring out the best and the worst in me. changes you may not realise that is happening to me but i am thankful for all these while. i do have my regrets in us but it is some what way past the time to do anything about it. we need to move on and whatever the mights and mays, let's just leave it for the time being. whatever's to be will be no matter how hard we tried. i am in no position to succumb to your goodness anymore.

living life in regrets is the worst that could happen to anyone and i have new add ons to my ever filling heart of regrets.

weekend rendevous

2 dateless beings out on a weekend of fun..

TJ say i look cacated in this shot.. -.-"

went to the curve for dinner and walk amidst the wonderful flea market that i just love.

dinner at pho hoa..

we had some vietnamese beef soupy noodles. it is so much tastier than McD *well, its my suggestion since it cost almost the same as a value meal but so so much more tastier. and my the portion's big. enough to fill up a day's worth of hungry tummy!

silly shots of the nite..

after a nite of taking endless pictures, we head home for a beer and peanut plus dvd session. was in the mid of watching the mummy when i caught him..

watching with us.. *cool* all nicely tucked and so ready to scream when the mummy became alive!

sunday was a planned flea market shopping spree at my lately fave hang out place the curve, again.. planned to eat nasi lemak at ikano, then head to pet store and puppy watch [i just love the furry white west highland terrier!!]. after that go to popular and borders to buy some story books for baby S.

but before i really shopped at the flea market.. rain spoils everything!

oh boy.. but never mind, i spent my nite at A's place and played with baby S. was coaxing her to sleep but she's having a cranky time of not enough sleep and salivating all over me but i get a home cooked dinner in exchange.

yesterday was also the mid-autumn festival. didn't do much to celebrate but all the same happy belated mid-autumn fest!

inspired

L is inspired by what i have written in my own bloggie. he copied and pasted it to his own blog! *wow.. he started his blog with my notes. Thanks for the support, L!

L and girlfriend V is having some kinda relationship angst time. i still remember when they first started to date. *lolz.. it is during a year end launching fair and we are so darn relaxed doing that. i remembered the fair in good impression because i have learnt a lot of stuff and get to know few good friends from then. nothing much to advise since L is being vague about what has happened and all he wants me is to accompany and treat him to a round of clubbing and losing himself like what we did few months back. accompanying him is what i would gladly do but treat *gosh* needs to plan plan first!

i am very glad that at times like this i have inspired him with what i have written for another particular person in mind. at least L appreciated what i have written and i hope everything's gonna be alright with him!

love doesn't need to own,

sometimes letting go the affection of your love

will make you love in a more wonderful and happier way..

love brings joy and pain, love brings laughter and tears, it all comes in a package, it is part of a parcel, all those emotions that we feel when we are in love. someone once told me that he dare not love anymore because he doesn't want to hurt other people anymore and he is afraid of getting hurt once again. i do not agree with him because it is a cowardly way to face relationship. he might just haven't met the right girl but by having this kinda mind set, i suppose even when that right one comes along, he would have hurt another soul again!

to love, we mostly need courage but to un-love we need time, reflection and distance. time will cure just about any broken hearts. on the other hand, reflection is about what has happened and understand the whys, the blames and the hurtful words. one doesn't blame the other unless he or she doesn't know or understand the whys. let your partner know how you feel and give them some space to breathe when they need and show them how much you appreciates them for giving you the space should do the trick. distance, to un-love and heal faster, one need to distance himself or herself from the loved ones. i always believe that!

whatever it is, do not be afraid to love. to have loved before is so much greater than to regret in not loving then. choices have consequences, go with your heart and do what heart tells you to then in the end whether the relationship work out or not is simply another matter. but if choose not to or worried about what might have happen then let the chances go, one will simply have to live in regrets with all those unanswered why nots..

true.. isn't?

**copied from JS's blog..**

The Greatest AdviseBy-Rick Warren

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!
Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Ms./ Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Ms. /Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking. Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.
It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

don't you think its very meaningful? especially dedicate this to few person in mind..

saying NO

i will say NO to YOU from now on..

don't mess with me anymore!

i miss you

no matter how hard i resist
i miss you

could not help myself

but thoughts of you are lingering on my mind

how i wish tonight
you will whisk me off to bed
with your sweet kisses
with your loving hugs
with your warm touches

with you

i wonder
where has all the sweet kisses gone to?

where is the loving and spontaneous hugs we used to have?

we are so near yet so far

i crave for your hugs and kisses
yet it is always the cold distance that is between us

i miss you

my vacation (part 2)

now's the second part of my vacation..

spend the whole thursday at home and do nothing except day-dreaming and accompany mom and kelly to brekkie and then go bring food for nate at school cos he is having extra classes then later went to masai town to convert kelly's mobile number to my supplementary so we can have free calls and sms. what else.. later went to pick nate up from school and go home once again regain my supreme seat in the living hall and daydream again. fall asleep before dinner and we supposedly have to go grocery shopping but since it rains like tiger and lion, we stayed indoor. watch silly dramas and flop on to bed just after 12. very very relaxing and comfortable as well!

friday went out for grocery shopping after being kick out of bed. [i always got kicked outta bed! considering i wake up darn early in kl but in jb, i hafta wake up way more earlier!!] then brekkie and pick thery up at downtown. after that we played cheat and take nate out from school an hour earlier just to go batu pahat. so after shower and dilly-dallying we head out to our mini road trip. went to settle some car loan matter which is seriously a waste of time. but along the way we eat non-stop and have fun making jokes while shopping in the new mall there..

rendang to go with lemang

cute lil candy floss robot

dinner is always an exasperating time as thery and me concludes that mom always tricked us into going out and eat whereas mom will just say she's too full to eat anything. when i am back home i am always the garbage collector. i am the one clearing off all those food..

saturday went out to shopping again for keren and claudine. we unanimously decided what dress to buy for claudine so she can attend some richie rich wedding in india then i happened to be on a shopping spree mood. bought a t-shirt, a dress, a short for kelly and another for me then a pink top in under rm110. very good bargain! and we had the latest ramadhan pizza for lunch and it taste quite alrite but the rice is not too good. so dinner's the same being tricked into going to eat by mom nonetheless.

here comes the end of my vacation. sunday passed in a blur. wake up, shower, and out for brekkie with whole family and then home and out again to visit aunt in hospital *sigh.. get well soon, aunt! then went for coffee break and send sis back to custom, eat again then home, shower and to the bus station.

all in all i would say this is a fairly not bad trip even though there's a lot of time wasted with un-planned agenda. but in the end i still have to sums it up as a bad trip after all. just before i come back dad make the usual hurtful remarks when i am the only one fending for my own my safety. whenever sis is around he won't so much as breathe those words out but whenever its only me, he most definitely will say it all out. i hate it and it really makes me lose all my self-esteem and my self-worth!

wishing for a better future.. will not let him hurt my pride anymore!! respect that comes with a hurtful heartache.. never knew why he treated me this way therefore i swear i will never treated anyone the way he did me cos i know how much it hurts..

promised movie treat

went out for movie with J yesterday for our promised nite out. supposedly to be wednesday but he brought forward it to last nite.

rushed home to put some stuff and shower real quick considering how i love my shower and get ready in under 2omins. he is already waiting for me down stair, doing what he does best..

dinner at jetty with him ordered a not nice paprik ayam and me ordered the safest food loh shi fun goreng *grinz. had my favourite ribena chin chow to go with and he had an iced cham. jetty is one of my fave hang outs in 1u. why? because it is relaxing as hell. remember those freaking osim days when i am there for freaking fairs.. jetty is just the place to really de-stress! i can still remember the 1st time bryan brings me there for lunch during my own disastrous beauty fair. don't wanna remember it!

then we went for the movie and we are so early that..

the place is literally empty only with few handful of people. so we did what we did best, we camwhore *xoxo*

smile until so mm gam yun..

so the movie.. malaysia movie version sucks big time but i have downloaded the un-cut version. hope it will make me laugh harder then. some more the most exasperated part is technical problem occur mid way of the movie. *gee.. never been luckier!

as i always says, its the companion that matters whether an outing or a project or an activities is fun and enjoyable or not! no doubt i had a good time last nite..

my vacation (part 1)

ok.. here goes the details of my just pass aug/sept vacation..

day 1:

someone stuck in the jam for almost 4hrs therefore he is having a bad bad day. ok, so the start of the journey is with me having my personal concert session all the way til nearly reaching melacca. the lil babe tortoise is in the ride with us too..

reached anne's place in record time! i wonder did tortoises have a freaking whirl ride? i had fun.. on the 2nd part of the journey, that is after someone finishes his bad mood!

day 2:

in starbucks.. waiting and waiting for the Prince and Princess of the whole vacation. there we had a small family shopping around tebrau city and had our tea cum lunch at secret's recipe. later that nite's dinner we went to nearby seafood village with this gigantic ship view.

after dinner with mom and dad we went downtown to danga bay. been a while since i last went there and since it is quite late we played a few rounds of silly games just like good ol' days with the wonder of a fun fair. jumping around from one place to another. we air-cycled around the petting zoo and i could have just killed them both for stopping on top of those b.i.r.d.s cage. then i managed to talk dearie J into shooting some darts to get a cute froggie for me. alas it is unsuccessful in getting anything at all! we discovered this nice beach side pubs with live bands singing away slow rock of the 90's. we ordered 3 buckets of Heineken and we had fun tripping down memory lane plus bullshitting all the time. dearie J and me talked a lot but A seems at time quiet and lonely *gosh.. can't imagine what's on her mind!
day 3:

this is the day where Prince and Princess says they are having bad day and don't wanna get off the bed so i went up north to muar with my family. before that, went to purchase some meds and food for them. i don't know what's gotten into me to have such a nurturing mood that day! at muar, we went to buy some of those local delights that mom wanna post it to sis and then we head down to eat the local faves assam fish and also otak-otak.

then after i reach back home dearie J and A come and pick me up and whisk me away for a movie session. we planned to watch "Money No Enough 2" but tixs are all sold out so in the end we watched "Babylon A.D". Then next we head down town to eat sweet potato porridge and walked around the zon and had a drive around town. after all the car ride, we went back to my home for me to pack up and go to A's bachelorette pad. There we enjoyed our leftover beers and crap til late nite.

day 4:

awaken by this sight..

had another lil road trip back to kluang and first stop we drop by C's garden and then we visited the well-known coffee factory and bought some tasty coffee back to KL. getting all dizzied up when we are there. next we went to have a coffee break at the infamous kluang station. toasted bread with iced milo, my all time fave! next we went to the mall and had some impromptu shopping trip. i bought a cute tube dress and then we dated C for another round of movie that nite. we went to get the yam cake that i having been dying for since way before the trip at milky's. next stop we went to this bruce lee's eatery and eat curry laksa..

after resting at A's home we went to buy some shanghai's moon cake and then we go eat pork ball noodles. later after dinner we went for a small drive around town and movie and after movie yum cha session and poor J's having car sick! *LOL!! at A's home we crap and enjoyed the cakes we bought earlier and we watched some funny drama before the 3 of us fall asleep. someone's been sleeping restlessly that nite..

day 5:

dearie J sent A back to work and me back home. we had another yum cha session at senai's famous sweet dessert bar. next J spent some time at home waiting for the rain to gets lighter before driving back to KL alone.

as for me.. my vacation part 2 continues..

after vacation

1st day back to work after vacation.. blue-ing all day long. sigh.. wondering when today can finally come to an end!

had a normal good time for my vacation, will upload pictures and will update a proper post for it but not today, not when i am blue-ing all day long.

wanna take a look at how blue i am..

thankfully later dearie J is taking me out to watch "You Don't Mess With The Zohan". this is the anecdote to save my day from getting all blued up. can't wait to go since its a promise from him during our vacation.



may i have a better nite..